I don’t want to lie to myself. I often think that I am different from other people. That I won’t make the same mistakes that they made. I tell myself that my life won’t be all about work. It won’t be about making money. However, I see that in practice I am failing at it. I am putting a lot of time and effort into making money. I am treading a dangerous path. Please shine Your truth into my mind. Let me see where I stand. Let me see the state of my heart, whether or not I am truly living a life worthy for You.
Right now I want to be perfect before You. Right now I want all my bad sins and bad habits to be gone away, far behind me. There is no reason why I can’t be holy right now. I have faith in Your blood to cleanse me, and I have faith in Your mercy to forgive me. I should always think to myself that I don’t have to be holy all the time, I just have to be holy right now! I should always strive to be holy right now!
I have a dilemma right now with one of the songs that I put up. I recently found out that “They’ll Know We Are Christians by Our Love” is still under copyright protection. It was written 30 years ago, but its no excuse for me. I don’t want to take down the sheet music, but I know deep in my heart that it will be the right thing to do. Yes it does attract a lot of visitors to my site, but it is under copyright and I should not violate the law. Forgive me Lord for even considering that it is okay to still keep it. Forgive me for almost giving room for sin to enter my heart and cloud my mind. I want to live in Your truth all the time. I want to be able to distinguish good from evil and not be stuck in foolish dilemmas such as this. Sometimes there are obvious rights and wrongs in front of us, and sometimes we want to do what is wrong so we start labeling the wrong as right. This is how countless people become stumbling blocks for others.
I live in a world where it is sometimes hard to be purely righteous. It is easy to find free movies and illegal things online. Help me be completely blameless in everything that I do. I want to be pure. I want no one to have anything against me. Please teach me God. Please open my eyes. Help change all the things that I have done wrong and come out righteous in the end. I know that I can do it with Your strength.
Some of the things that I want to change are these: I have some programs on my computer that I did not purchase. Help me purchase them. I know it cost money and I need money, help me buy all the things that I need so that I would not be stealing programs. I know it is the right thing to do. Help me with this website. It will be so easy to put up free copyrighted songs, but its wrong to do that. I need to be careful to obey all the laws and only do what is completely right. Please teach me. Please open me eyes to see what I can put on my website and what is evil.
Thank You God for teaching me all these good and wonderful things. The more I pray to You the more I begin to see the error of my ways. Yesterday I read twice as much Bible as I usually do and guess what, I felt a little fire in my heart. I felt that my prayer was stronger. I felt much more connected to You. Help me do the same today. Help me do things that will connect me with You. Help me act in a way that will allow the Holy Spirit to talk to my heart and help me lead a blameless life on this earth. Even this morning typing up this prayer, I feel Your blessing. There is power in being closer to God. There is much blessing for any who seek the face of the Lord. Help me always remember this.
Bless Anastasia. She is more uncomfortable than before. There is only about 10 days left until she gives birth. Please help her be comfortable. Please take care of her so that her feet don’t swell up too much, and so that she wouldn’t get any stretch marks. Help me have the patience to massage her. Give me a heart to spend time with her. I can get busy and my thoughts can wander and even when I talk to my wife I still might not be there. Help me spend quality time with her and give her the support and comfort that she needs. I pray that you bless her pregnancy. I want to have more children and I know that she wants to have more also. Please give her a strong body that will be able to bare many children. Bless her. When she is giving birth please provide me with the wisdom that I need to help her through it. Give me the strength to talk boldy to the doctors and tell them what we want. I don’t want Nastia to worry about me being to timid and the doctors doing who knows what to her. Please protect Nastia from having a C-sections and protect her from tearing. Give sympathetic hearts to the staff when we are there, and give them wisdom on what needs to be done. I want everything to go very well.
Please bless the house that I am living in. Yesterday a feeling came upon me that I really didn’t like living here. Too much T.V and lack of discipline in the children. Please don’t let me be like that. I must understand that is is good to live with others. I just read that Psalm yesterday. It is good to live together with brothers. Help me love the family I live with. Help me care for them and to assist them with whatever they need help with. That is a the way of Christ. It is a way of love.
These past few days I have had a few errands that I have been to lazy to do. Please enlighten my mind to do the right thing. Please teach me to do my chores on time, and to do what needs to be done and not put it off. I have a bad habit of being lazy. Continue to straighten me out.
I love You, Lord. Help me give You glory.