My Prayer to God: July 19, 2013

My Prayer to God: July 19, 2013

Dear God,

Thank you for this wonderful day. Thank you for this wonderful time in which I live in. Thank you for the environment around me, thank you for the atmosphere around me, and thank you for the peace and happiness that I have inside.

I do not deserve all the good things that you have provided for me. I look around and I see blessings from every side. I see a beautiful wife who loves me and who wants to please me. I see a little baby growing in my her belly. I see success with the things that I do. I am making money from six different jobs!. I have a good job with my Lutheran Church, I have a good job with my private students. I have a good job teaching P1-8th grade. I have a job in a Piano Academy. I have sold a few of my books on Amazon with CreateSpace. I am making money with my website advertisements. All of these jobs are a blessing that I don’t deserve and that I never expected to have.

Just this morning I gave in to my temptation. I thought of things that were not good. I let sin into my heart. Forgive me God. You stopped me today. I could have sinned a lot more, but I know that the Holy Spirit stopped me from doing even more evil. Thank you. Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for the power to fight off sin. I am weak by myself. I require Your strength and You provide it without measure.

I want to change. I want to become a more useful person for you. I want to shine a light that will help people who are in darkness. Yesterday during church I realized that I no longer cared about any hypocrisy from the Worship Team on stage. I realized that every one needs God. Eventually all people will search for you. It doesn’t matter what mindset the Worship Leaders have, or if they are just singing for the show of it, they still need the Lord. People need the Lord. Help me not be judgmental of others. Help me to see them for who they are, and to love everyone with a love of Christ.

Help me to love. I want to love everyone more than I do right now. I realized that sometimes I don’t look favorably upon my niece. I get annoyed at her. When I remember that it’s not her fault, she is only six years old and has not been properly trained, I start to look down at my sister-in-law. When I remember that my sister-in-law is all by herself in raising her children and that their father doesn’t really help, I start to look down at my brother-in-law. Help me not look down upon them. Help to look at all of them with love. I want to love them more. I feel that I just don’t love them enough nor do I care about their well-being as much as I should. Help me Lord, please help me.

Today I was invited to go to a birth-party. I first thought was that I didn’t want to go. I would need to spend money and I would probably be bored at the party. However, I am glad that my better judgement advised me in the moment that I needed it. I believe it was Your Hand upon me. Why must I be so distant from my friends and family? Why don’t I rejoice at an opportunity to get together and fellowship with them. Why is it so difficult for me to spend twenty or thirty dollars buying a present. I find it hard just picking out the right present which makes me not want to give it even more. I want to be a giving person. I believe that you call me to be a social Christian. You call me to talk with others; to share burdens with others; to share happiness with others; to build strong ties of love and trust. Help me be this way Lord. I know that I have already established a bad habit of isolating myself. A bad habit that tends to avoid groups of people or the desire to share joy and sadness. Help me!

I love my wife. I love her more and more, and I am growing very attached to her. Please teach me to be a better husband. Sometimes my wife gives me advise and my pride doesn’t like it. My pride doesn’t want to listen to her. I want to prove that I know better, when most of the time I know that my wife’s advise is very good. I believe with all of my heart that you have given me Anastasia to help me. She can really help me. I should let her help me. I should not be so proud and stuck up that I won’t listen to her advise or criticism. Help me take her words as if You were saying them Yourself. I really should stop picking at my toenails. Why do I continue to insist that its okay to pick at them? I should stop biting my nails. Why do I get angry when Nastia tries to stop me? I should be taking notes of the classroom management videos I am watching. I should be more prepared to lead Youth Choir. I should learn to fix cars and fix plumbing and I should now depend so much on my brothers. Why am I against that. Why do I insist that those are things that I don’t do. I can do them. Please drive these things deep into my heart. Why do I need my brother to find a camera for me. I should be able to find a good deal on my own. I should be able to research things on my own. Why don’t I take my wife’s advise and do things for the better. Please break down my stubbornness and help me realize the wisdom in her words.

I will soon be a teacher in school. I will remind myself that every student I have there is sent by You. You specifically picked every student and put them in my class. Let me strive to be a light and a good example. Even without preaching directly I want to shine such a light of righteousness that those children will realize the light of Christ in me. Only You can help me do that.

I have a problem with procrastination. Yesterday when my wife went to visit my niece I stayed home with plans to work. Instead I wasted my time watching useless videos on Youtube. I wasted precious time. Please forgive me God. Help me to improve. Help me really work hard. Help me work very hard on the tasks in front of me. Don’t let me be lazy, don’t let me procrastinate. Please focus me everyday on the things that will bring the most use to me and my family and to the kingdom of God.

There are so many things that I will be facing in the future. What will I do about my employment in the Lutheran Church. What will I do with my Youth Choir. How will I raise my children. How will me and my wife get along with raising our first child. How will our spiritual lives be. How will we figure out our health insurance. How will move out to our own place or apartment. What will happen with the desires of my flesh during a time after the baby is born when my wife will be unable to please me. What will I do in become a better spiritual leader. How should I fix my relationships with my family. Will I continue to desire earthly things. How will I overcome them? Teach me Lord. Please teach me, show me, and guide me. Hold my hand as I walk on this journey. I will put my trust in you. I will trust you to help with with all financial questions, career questions, family raising questions, employment questions, where will I live questions. I will trust you in everything.

Thank you for the gift of prayer and for the Holy Spirit who comforts me. I know everything will be all right. Glory be to God. Amen!